Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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