We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize