the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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