What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
