I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your penis caused this!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
