Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
