Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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