..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
