dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
