$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
