i permit you to call me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
