Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My Higher Power is John Stamos
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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