And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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