How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
