what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
