So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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