I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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