If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
