oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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