haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
