I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
