this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You dont lie about slip and slides
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize