Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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