i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
