Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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