Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
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You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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