State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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