He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
