Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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