Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ugly people sure do ruin things
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
