It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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