so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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