My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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