Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize