I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
