He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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