Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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