Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize