We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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