Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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