I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Everything about him screamed your future.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
