i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
