fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
