You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
