He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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