Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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