third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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