You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
