the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
