New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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