The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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