I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize