My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
