There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
