My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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