Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize