i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Come see our sink grown plant.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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