I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Soap is not a condiment
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
