I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
