I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
