and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
